My attempt at organization. :)

Sunday, June 19, 2011


(Another raw post)

Today, I wake filled with bitterness and resentment. And some very old pain. Father's Day has always been a big joke of a holiday in my life.

Just like my biological father... a big joke. Infested with selfish desire, speed, alcohol, and a meanness that makes Satan jealous.

Just like my step-father... a big joke. And I see my baby sister talk about him being the "cooolest dad ever," and I can't help but think, wait till your eyes are open little one. Just wait.

Just like my daughter's father... a big joke. Who is somewhere off celebrating with his new wife and kids while I keep my girl busy and naive about this stupid holiday.

Just like my son's father... who is maybe a smaller joke than the previous big jokes.

And after typing those sentences, crying silent tears as my daughter takes a break in the next room, I KNOW I am in pain. I KNOW that its really my pain talking here because my HEAVENLY FATHER is the only one who has truly fulfilled that title, father. And because even today, with another dose of hate and anger filling my heart, he strokes my hair and wipes my tears. Hushes me and tells me, "I love you, Kendra, and I've never stopped loving you when others did. I've never left you even when others did. I've protected you and healed your wounds when others created them. I see your beauty and talent blossom when others have made you feel ugly, stupid, and worthless. They did not know it was Me that made you, My exquisite work of art and that you were bought with the most precious blood."


A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68:5

Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. Proverbs 4:1

Doubtless thou art our father, though Abraham be ignorant of us, and Israel acknowledge us not: thou, O LORD, art our father, our redeemer; thy name is from everlasting. Isaiah 63:16

These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Matthew 6:32

All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. John 6:37

I and my Father are one. John 10:30

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. John 14:6

And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever. John 14:16

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. Romans 8: 14,15

One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. Ephesians 4:6

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of this in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:10,11

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:17

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. James 1:27

Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knows us not, because it knew him not. 1 John 3:1


  1. Hi Pinks. My husband's father disappeared when he was very young and as a 30yr old he met him again. Full of excuses, etc. He went home and sat in his room and said to the Lord, "You are my father" and got a feeling of warm oil flowing over him. He said he realized that God had actually spared him by removing his father. Seeing the kids that had the benefit of his father reinforced this thought - most of them are even more screwed up than his family was(and that's saying a lot). I think your post is soul touching and I want to encourage you to release them all, forgive them all and let God be your and your children's daddy. He will never let you down!
    God bless

  2. Oh Kendra I wish I could hug you as well. So a cyber one will have to do. May Father God keep you wrapped in his arms and reminding you of his great love for you.

  3. How precious it is that we indeed have a real Father who loves us with an everlasting love...

  4. What a great post to link up again at the time of year when our Heavenly Father made the biggest gesture of love by giving us His son. (((hugs)))

  5. It's so amazing that God the Father is able to be to us the best Father ever,regardless of the failings of the fathers we see here on earth. He is the standard.

  6. oh, the pain I wish I could take away...but the lesson, and the way it makes you lean on our Heavenly father, perhaps is only learned through the hurt. {squeeze}