My attempt at organization. :)

Monday, August 29, 2011

1000 gifts

Philippians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God

"As I studied more, I came to understand that God was not asking me to give thanks for the circumstances themselves. He was asking me to focus on what He was doing in my life in the midst of my circumstances." -Wendy Blight, Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God's Story

7. skating
8. a spontaneous, slobbery kiss from my son
9. hearing my daughter sing along to air1
10. Peanut, a friend's female Great Dane
11. nerds - Willy Wonka and "Revenge of the Nerds" style
12. real humans sharing their pain
13. the ability to laugh at yourself

You said worry about nothing but pray about everything. Everything... Thank you for bringing so many gifts and blessings into my life. The only way to get through these struggles is to lean on the faith that says You go before me and prepare the way. You know exactly what will happen and my reactions to it. I pray You anchor me to the faith You authored. Love and peace are the weapons we use to battle ALL forms of negativity and evil. Fill me with Your all encompassing love and peace. Lead me to the Word You have for me, daily. Thank you for your grace and mercy.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011



-occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations

in or to a degree or quantity that satisfies or that is sufficient or necessary for satisfaction

a sufficient number, quantity, or amount

"Mom recently said, 'Honey, let 'em see the brokenness. Let 'em see the cracks in your armor. That's how the light comes out.'" -Wynonna Judd

You are enough. You guide me continuously to Your living waters. Thank you for leading me to goldy posts shared by your servants. You give insurmountable inspiration and motivation. Thank you for wiping my tears and holding my pain. Thank you for allowing these times as You prepare me for the future moment with a lost lamb who will need me to be able to understand the road they travel. Thank you for providing this lost lamb with shelter and comfort. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving a voice that argues with the negative thoughts swirling for control of my heart, mind, and soul. Thank you for being enough. You have blessed me and the work You allow me to do. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart. Thank you for letting me see people instead of annoyances. Thank you for letting me praise families instead of feeding jealousies and bitterness. Thank you for softening my heart towards those that have inflicted the pain. Thank you for my children. Thank you for trusting me to teach them about You. Thank you for revealing yourself to my daughter and for her accepting You as savior. Thank you for my mental, emotional, and physical health. Thank you for Your grace and mercy. Thank you for Your forgiveness.

In Jesus Name I pray,

Monday, August 22, 2011

"I don't want to live like I don't care"

Its been some time since my last post, and I begin this with a heavy heart as I listen to the song posted by Michelle over at Lost In the Prairies.... Found by God.

That gave me the courage to hear the cries in my heart. I had turned the volume down on my own pain to go through the motions of this Monday. I think I did the same through this weekend's entirety. Thank you to Kandy, and her genuine heart over at Get Out of the Boat.

I'm so thankful that God leads me to sources of strength and wisdom when it gets this hard. I had been putting my faith in other things as well. I want to control so much of my life, and when the control is not mine, I fit and cry like a 2 year old. I scream at the sky, "WHY?!"

I was amazed at the number of children dropped at their first day of school by BOTH parents. So many dads... I peeked into their lives, praising God for the families while pleading for one of my own.

I did a lot of telling myself that "I don't care" when in fact, I care deeply. It hurts to care this much. I've heard of people locking themselves in their prayer closets and not coming out until an answer is had from the Lord. I'm not sure what to pray for anymore. I know God is always with me, and I know and believe his love washes over me daily... but there is something I'm missing. Answers that maybe I've been given but not seeing...

Its time to wake up and really tune in to what God has for me because I feel like I am crawling on the ground.

Psalm 116:8 For You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.