"call me if you need me"

I've been mad at that statement for some time now. It's almost as teeth grinding as "does that make sense." (another story)

I mentally started the title of this blog 3 days ago.

I blogged it down yesterday.

And today, I finally read Michelle's, Caffeinated Randomness. I've followed for a while, but never linked. Her story of noncontrol inspired me to click edit and type in the blank entry.

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I've heard this statement too many times from his mouth. I said from the beginning, I would not talk about the should's we should have done, so don't worry, that's not my direction.

I want to talk about how this is a painful statement for me. This general statement makes my heart ask, "but what if you don't answer?"

I see many faces that did not answer my call of need, but He reminds me of many faces who did. Yesterday (Thursday) was my day of wallowing too. I feel my heart wanting to go that direction again, but He reminds me of the good in my life. Today, He answers that one negative thought with three positives.

Lord,

I'm calling You, because I need You. I know You are the author and finisher of my faith, but I still have doubt and put limits on You. I throw my adult tantrum, demanding the wisdom behind the trial before I'm halfway through the refinery. Thank You for helping me stop and be thankful. Thank You for continuing to work through me. Thank You for working in others in my life. Thank You for speaking to me and comforting me, allowing me peace and rest. Thank You for your goodness and mercy.

In Jesus Name,
Amen