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Sunday, December 4, 2011

Proverbs 12:25

Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.

I finally stopped trembling.

It is day number two of weekend visitation. My son leaves with his dad for 4 hours.

Yesterday was the same. I count the hours till he takes him from me then count the hours till my son's return. All the while, my mind churns with variations of these:

-memories of the last three years

-does my house smell?

-is it clean enough

-do I look ok?; who cares what I look like

-will she be with him again, probably...

-does he talk ugly about me in front of my son?; he lets sister talk ugly about me...

-is there something I'm missing; what else can he use to make me look unfit?

-he can't be trusted

-Lord, why can't they be nice? Do they know You?

-You have not given me a spirit of fear... but I'm trembling!

-don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

-be brave, be courageous.

-did I feed him enough?; he's thinks I never feed him

-is this jacket heavy enough?

-I wasn't made to please him; i was made to please Him!!!

-you can cry when they turn at the end of the block...

-Lord, I know You're there; please keep Your hand on my son.

Psalm 62:6
He only is my rock and my salvation:He is my defense; I shall not be moved.

Thank You for calming my spirit. After the buzz of anxiety's ringing leaves my ears, Your still small voice is there whispering peace. Thank you for the beautiful blogs I have been blessed to read. You bring inspiration, encouragement, and motivation in my life, distracting me from the negativity flood. More than distracting... its like You plug it up. Hahaha, I guess You literally put a cork in it! Thank You for sending Your obedient Son to give us hope. I ask that you again be with the various people I have already lifted up to You this week. Touch their hearts and let them know You are there. Give a friend the courage to call out Your Name. She is close but doesn't know how to trust yet. Guide her and reassure her that You are going to be by her side through eternity. Thank You for teaching me how to love.

In Jesus Name,


  1. This blog post broke my heart. I was a child of divorce (I'm not sure based on this if that's the case, but there's clearly a separation) is incredibly hard, but all you can do is make sure your son knows how much you love him. Beyond that, everything else will take care of itself. I believe in God, and in Karma. Don't fight against the world, go with the flow, you'll be taken care of.

    Thanks for the comment on my blog. Please keep your head up.

  2. Hugs and prayers for you today Kendra, may He uplift you in in the calm of His presence.


  3. Hi Kendra - I remember a pastor once saying that our minds are like tape recorders and we have to tape over the old stuff with new stuff, the stuff that uplifts, encourages, and brings inner peace, etc. That running tape recorder in your head will get the better of you if you let it. Why don't you prepare some of your favourite scriptures, write them out and when this happens again, read them out ALOUD, faith comes from HEARING the word of Christ. You also can't think if you are listening! Great way to ambush those thoughts next time. God bless and again, thank YOU for your prayer for me. It still moves me :)

  4. I love your prayer, Kendra. It's so beautiful and speaks of your close, personal relationship with God. I've walked through similar circumstances with my sister. You may not be able to control these circumstances, but God is always in control, and He is certainly watching over you and your son.
    Many blessings, sweet friend!

  5. Hi Kendra. I have a friend who always tells me that GOD is faithful. HE is faithful in everything. It's really hard but when we are in circumstances like this we just have to put our trust in HIM and remember that HE is faithful.
    God bless you. Thank you for saying that wonderful prayer for my friends. I'm going to pass it along to them. They will be blessed. Actually, Marge is the friend that always tells me GOD is faithful!