Technically, Day 2

I broke things off with my baby's father, Troy on Saturday, 3/26/11. We have been through a lot in the last year.

We broke up.

Went to court.

Stopped fighting.

We were going to counseling.

Went to a transparenting class.

And then he just pulled his disappearing act on me again... or at least that's what it feels like.

BUT...

This time will be different. I will not gripe about how I was wronged or what he should or shouldn't have been doing.

INSTEAD...

I'm going to write about how God has been helping me through this time. I want to be more reliant on Him. Of course I want that godly man in my life, but I can't force it or mold something worldly into a pseudo-godly something. I have to become more godly myself. I have to let God do the molding.

My heart is very hurt, but it will heal. And only God can orchestrate that kind of healing. I want to be better for myself and my kids.

I have some goals that I have been thinking about:

-lose weight (drop 3 sizes)
-build endurance for skating
-organize my front room into a play area for me and the kids
-start paying my student loans
-buy a house (saving for 5 years to do so)

Lord,
You give me so much. The one thing that has helped me battle the negative thoughts are the blessings that surround me. I ask that you take the lust/desire for worldly things out of my heart as I battle and resist. Thank you for my little ones. Thank you for the clear thoughts You have given me. Help me to continue on that the path that aligns with Your will. You know where my heart is and where I have been. Give me your guidance as I work out a plan for us to attend services somewhere.

Thank you for the people you have placed in my life. I couldn't do this without the support of my mom, sisters, and friends. Some of the most amazing women I know... Bless each one today. Thank you again for everyting!

In you Son's name,
Amen.