Loss

I'm joining Gypsy Mama for her 5 minute Friday. Its been some fridays since I posted last. You can play along too! Write for a free five minutes: no critic, no spell check, grammar police, etc. Once you are done, return to the momma's website to link with others. Make sure and share a big thank you to the person that linked before you. Ready?



Prompt: Loss

Go

Loss.

Such an icky word for me today.

I've been writing about the loss of a dream. The loss of a sense of family. Losing the dad counterpart, forcing my children to have 2 homes, 2 sets of "parents," 2 lives.

Loss.

I have this thick emotion sitting on my chest as I force myself through this dark 5 minutes. Tears sit just behind my eyes, waiting for beckoning.

My mind furiously rewinds through life examples of loss. Its like it fast forwards to the next without completely recognizing specific situations. Slowed specifics guarantee emotion. Emotion could be dangerous. A flood of emotion and tears held behind the dam built to protect.

A good rain rejuvenates the earth that is my soul, but a flood carries threats of instability.

Pain.

Loss.

Stop.

Checking In

I've spent some time away from the blogosphere the last couple of weeks. I've missed some of my favorite writers and personalities. Kandi, thank you for your comment and prayers. I've thought about you as well. Deb, I love our daily conversations, even if I disappear to return the next day. Such patience I have felt from friends and loved ones through this busy time.

I actually had dinner last night with a favored couple. I hadn't seen them in several months, and it felt great to relax and catch up.

I am still learning.

Still relying on Him.

I'm pretty hard on my children. I am in a season of molding again. This time, my Lord fine tunes me as a mother. He is working on my relationship with my daughter. Calming me in my reactions, behaviors, and interactions with her. She displays a disrespectful attitude towards me at times, and God has opened my eyes to see where she gets it. (mirror! ouch.)

Pray that we find a place of worship. My daughter misses church, and I do to for that matter. Thank You, Lord for your everlasting mercy and patience! I hope to swing by for visits and comments later today. I'm so glad to get something from my heart onto "paper."

Lord,
Thank you for the many blessings you have poured out onto me and my family. Thank you for my daughter, my beauty. Thank you for my son, my smiley goofball. Even when I thought I was being dealt an unlucky hand, Lord, You show me how truly blessed I am to have these children in my life, calling me mommy. Guide my hands and reveal Yourself to them. Help me teach them about You through my own actions and love. God, be with other mothers and fathers who are struggling with their own pain. Help them feel blessed through their children. Let them know that they are enough and You love them just as they are. Lord, be with the children that do not know caring adults as mother and father. Comfort them. Whisper in their ears that they are not alone. Ease their pain. Kiss their bruises. Envelope them into your arms, under your protective wings. Lord, please bring the rain.

In Jesus name, Amen!